Back to school
It's the second week of school and as I just finish my final journal entry I have never felt farther from India. This was part of final entry about what it means to be back.... Being back I have been busy with work and then moving into school and beginning classes and not thinking about the trip. What I thought of India before the trip is basically now obsolete. Since I signed up for the trip late I never made an entry about what I thought India was, but I imagine that it would have been about how India felt distant and “mystical” and something Edward Said would have been horrified by. Perhaps my idea of the country was based solely on the “330 Million Gods” video, and I thought there would be an odd British man narrating our whole trip. Poverty was not a factor I considered, and Indian religion was something I reduced to only thinking about in a classroom situation or on a special fieldtrip; there was no thought of Indian religion in my everyday life. Reversely, I never thought about how my country could have influence on the everyday life of a person in India through, for example, the corporations I support..........Flying back into Dulles and driving home that first day, must have been how the historical Buddha felt after he left the palace with his charioteer and then returned to his opulence. I became aware of our societal norms that I had never noticed before. Our knack for organization such as with driving and trash pick up; there are no distinct smells and everything is meticulously clean. There is also the separation of rich and poor in our country which I did not see in India. I suppose in a big US city it might be noticed, but in a lot of places in the US, the wealthier people escape to suburbia and the ugliness of poverty is ignored. It felt weird to eat at the Taj Mahal Hotel and come outside to a street of beggars.............................Also, since being home, I have continually been thinking about the question asked on the trip “did you find what you were looking for in India?” From my perceptions at least a few of the group members were looking for spiritual answers on the trip. I do not think I went into the trip with this mindset, but I went in with the anthropological view “I am going to observe what I have been learning about the in the classroom.” There was furthermore a point where I wrote in my journal, “The trip for Kedarnath does not have a spiritual element for me.” The trip did have a spiritual effect and extremely emotional element. Even if I wasn’t hiking up nine miles for “darsan of Lord Siva”, the trek had a poignant effect as well as seeing people worshipping at temples along the river confluences and watching people perform ganga puja. Observing other people so intently involved in their spiritual practice, its hard not to be just an outsider, my emotions would become aroused as well......One aspect I thought that was missing in my journal was the mention of people. The people are what make up India, and yet, I did not mention them as frequently as I should have. This probably stems from the fact that I’m usually a quiet, reserved person and the staring was really hard for me to get used to, in addition to so much contact with strangers. Personal space, I discovered, is not a societal norm there like it is here. Also, given that I was on the trip with fifteen of my peers and teachers, I found it easy to immerse myself in culture from back home simply by turning to the group. This is why I plan on going to Thailand second semester of this year. I want a chance to spend more time, learn more of the language, and get to know more of the population on a personal basis. The India trip was a great introduction to the country, and it gave me skills so that if I want to travel there again, I feel like I would be able to handle it.
I look through my photo album from the trip frequently, and a lot of it is a blur, events blend together. It’s hard to believe we did some of the stuff that we did. I often think, “I was there?” “I did that?” Looking at the pictures is a good way of remembering, but I need the smells and the sounds. I need the runny nose and the feeling of being covered in donkey crap and cold air in Kedarnath. I need the sereneness of the ganga puja in Rishikesh and the loud, debating monks in Dharamsala. This trip meant so much to me and the rest of the group. I suppose one thing I was searching for in India was a broader world view, and if anything this trip has made me want to travel more. Not just back to India and the rest of Asia, but around our own country too. I want to see if what that L.A. woman in Rishikesh said was true, if India really is more holy than other places. What it means to be back and to have been back for a while now is that I’m ready to leave again.
posted by Meredith | 8:47 PM
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